No Respect Alternate End
by Devlin Dracul
Summary: Title says it all.


**A/N: The original short, both sub and dub, can be found on YouTube.**

"If you-a guys don't bring me some-a freakin' meat, I'm-a gonna freakin'-a kill you," yelled Don Luffione, Don of the Luffione family. "Why do I smoke this cigar, you ask me? It's because-a the air in this freakin world stinks, that's why." That would have sounded cooler if he hadn't coughed. "I called you guys here for one reason only: To make clear who the boss of this island is, once and for all."

"It's-a me, you dumbass," yelled Don Zorocia, Don of the Zorocia family.

"No way! Any idiot can see it's-a me," yelled Sanjino, Don of the Sanjino family.

Luffione chuckled. "Sanjino, a bonehead like you who doesn't even slick his hair back isn't qualified to run this island."

Sanjino slammed his hands on the table. "I've-a got my reasons, okay! It's slick back on one side, isn't it?!"

Luffione slammed his fist on the table. "Just one side?! Don't make me laugh! That's like-a saying you only have half a pair a balls!"

"WHAAT?!"

"THAT'S-A THE LAST STRAW! THIS MEANS-A WAR," yelled Zorocia, holding a gun.

"Why the hell are you-a starting the war," yelled both Luffione and Sanjino as they slapped Zorocia.

"Fine then, war it is," said Luffione. "Make-a him eat-a lead, Usotuya."

"I'm-a gonna take out Zorocia," said Usotuya, holding a gun.

BANG

"Usotuya failed-a. He's-a been shot-a."

"Take out Luffione while he's alone," Sanjino said to Choparini.

"I'm-a gonna take out Luffione," said Choparini.

BANG

"Choparini failed-a. He's-a been shot-a."

"Know your enemy well-a, Namimore," Zorocia said.

"I'm-a gonna take out-a Sanjino," Namimore said.

BANG

"Mama mia," were Sanjino's last words.

"The Sanjino family has been-a taken out-a."

"Now, where's his-a safe? Aahh! He sure was-a loaded!"

"Namimore has been taken out-a! She-a died of-a happiness-a!"

"Oh, well. At least the broad took out-a Sanjino. Robita, you're up-a. Go take out Luffione," Zorocia said.

"Not interested," Robita responded.

"A-what?!"

"Ahahahahaha! That's-a good to hear, Robita!"

Zorocia looked towards the direction of the voice. "Luffione!"

BANG

"The Zorocia family is-a down! The Luffione family wins-a the war!"

"Ahahahaha! Now I'm-a the boss! All the meat is now-a mine!" He looked towards Robita. "It-a seems I owe you a bit of gratitude, Robita! It's thanks-a to you that I now run things. As such, I will a grant you one wish. What do you-a want? Sanjino's money? Zorocia's weapons? I'll give-a you whatever you-a want, except-a my meat, of course."

"Don't worry, boss. I'm not interested in any of that."

"Then, what do you want?"

"The knowledge."

"What?"

"The books that the three great families had in their possession. Your books, Sanjino's books, and Zorocia's books. I want them all."

"Is that-a it? Okay, Robita. They're all-a yours. I had no use for them myself anyway. It's a happy end for the both of us! Ahahahahahha!"

Some time later.

Robita was reading a book outside, still wearing her cool sunglasses. Luffione took a bite of meat, staring at the sky. "You know, it's weird."

"What is, boss?"

"This meat. It seems even tastier for some reason... while I'm on your lap."

Luffione was laying his head on Robita's lap, but she didn't mind. She just turned the page of her book, and began to pet his head as she read. "Is that right?"

Luffione took another bite. "Yeah."

"You also seemed to have stopped smoking, boss. I thought you said the world's air stinks."

"It's weird, but the air around you smells really nice."

"Does it?"

"Mhm." Luffione took another bite, as Robita turned the page of her book. "Robita?"

"Yes, boss?"

"How would you feel about becoming the Mother of the Luffione family?" Robita was about to turn a page, but stopped when Luffione asked her that question. "Every great family has a strong Father and a strong Mother. Will you become that strong mother?"

Robita was still for a bit, before she began to turn the page of her book. "Boss, you realize that you're pretty much asking me to become your wife, correct?"

"Will you? Will you become my wife, and the Mother of the Luffione family?"

Robita was silent for a bit. The wind blew her hair, and she turned the page of her book. Then... she smiled. "Sounds interesting. I'll do it... dear."

"It's-a happened! Don Luffione has married Robita! She is now the second highest ranking member of the entire Luffione family!"

"Dear?"

"Yes, my wife?"

"Our family will need heirs."

Luffione smiled. "Yes. It will."

Twenty years later.

"A toast," Luffione declared. "To the eighteenth birthday of my eldest child and his victory against the Spandam family, Saul!" The family cheered at the glorious eighteenth birthday of the handsome and powerful son of their Father and Mother. "And a second toast, to my sixteen year old daughter's success in taking out the idiots that tried to take out our family, and threaten out citizens. No one threatens my island, especially not with my Olvia guarding it!" The family cheered.

The elder brother and younger sister then clanged their glasses together, both smiling at the celebration and their successes. Their parents were just as proud. They both knew that the family was in good hands with their children being the next leaders of the mafia.

"The Luffione family is incredible-a! Especially with their badass Father, Mother, and their awesome kids-a!"

The aforementioned leaders and heirs of the family smiled, their sunglasses still on, and their guns pointed at the camera. "Damn-a right," they all said in unison.

"W-Wait-a! I'm-a just the narrator! Please, don't-a shoot-a! At least make-a me an offer I can't refuse-a!"

BANG BANG BANG BANG!

 **A/N: You see, this short is one of the reasons I can't ship Zoro x Robin. It's kinda hard to ship two people when you see them betray and kill each other, even in a silly short that was the dream of a rock. Still, I couldn't resist making this alternate ending. A bit long winded, might be a bit cliché at the end, and maybe a tad bit unnecessary at the end; but what the hell. I had fun. Also, even though this one-shot was based off of the No Respect short of One Piece, I ironically have respect for Zoro x Robin shippers. I've seen some pretty good artwork and read some interesting stories for them. It's just not my cup of tea, or sake. Luffy x Robin has always been one of my favorites.**

 **Oh, and it took my a painfully long time to realize this, and I mean stupidly long, but Luffione looked exactly like Crocodile, doesn't he? Maybe there's some weight behind those "Crocodile is a woman, and Luffy's mom" theories. Or was that a fanfic? Oh, whatever. The point is that mob Luffy looks a hell of a lot like Crocodile, especially with the cigar.**

 **Oh, and one more thing, if you think you can make a better ending than mine, then by all means, do it. I do love me some alternate endings. Kinda obvious, right?**


End file.
